A Girl into A Woman

 

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder . Many use it but not a lot would comprehend its true means .
People, in general, are attracted to beauty , it’s a part of our gene we can’t help it . Even if you are not our type , We will still  catch someone a half a mile staring at us in a distance . For most women and men that is what they want , what they settle for.
I remember back when I was in high school . I was making my normal rounds to the school’s tuck shop . Coming down the  staircase I saw these senior guys , my year .
Now I am not the school boyfriend type never have been . As young girls in that prime time , we tend to mature much faster than the guys and left high school boys for the sophomores .. Who are more into the fascination of boys and willing to explore .

On with the story,   the student stopped me  and I thought he was approachable so I went to him . He held on to my hands and smiled then  said to me  “you know you are beautiful but you are just hard to look at.” I just stood there in shock because what am I suppose to say to that . How am I suppose to react ? I felt my organs clinch inside of me , my eyes filled with water . Holding back like , so you mean to tell me I’m only good looking because you took a long hard stare at me ? In my mind .
Instead of retaliation out of anger . I just smiled and said  “thank you .. ” sarcastically .
He then had the nerve to say your welcome . Like he had done me a favor .
Now I look back on that day and smile . Reason being , if I had been an empty shoe case , I could never be where I want to be , or doing what I want to do . Beauty doesn’t come with only the flesh  , it comes with what’s inside you . What you bring to the plate , will make so much different from the barbies across the world . What’s in your mind that counts . I  encourage girls to get an education,  make it mandatory . So when men or anyone else talk to you they will have to take a step back in awe . Because you are not just a face, you are a woman virtue  and stability , a firm mind . Never will they  have the audacity to be rude and look down on you , like you have no right  to talk or walk with your heads held high . Step up , make a stand , be extraordinary ! Be a visionary , a leader . You think because you walk with modesty they won’t try to bury you . Flash your hips with pride and say I am all that I am and more . Toss your fishing line with the fattest worm and you shall reap the benefits of the biggest fish .

 

The Heart

The girl , of passion  , of love and the adventurous soul that still continue to search for much more . What’s  the light I shall not sunder but the sight search for the bliss it once had ? Her ; a soul that has been put into so many sorrows and heartache what more can she take ? What more ? Tell me .. Tell me . I want to know . I cry a thousand tears to flood lands for years , still nothing .🛡 my shield is way up , the girl , “her” she has no more to spare.

That one happy moment was shortly lived , now I feel like I’m walking down a heavy path of sadness , a thousand stabs punctured the heart . Heart? What heart do I have , when I know nothing of the warmth that is now a mild feeling . Winter dawn in my heart and  filled it with the cold , harden by heartbreaks yet replenished with wisdom.

I have been left to feel neglect and abandonment from the ones I care most for . They don’t love me , they want to use me , and so I let them . I , in turn,  let them believe they are . Play the fool . While they toy and laugh ,  I set my motive devising plans for the future  . Everything is but a distant hum , A wish in the stars , Nothing lasts . why not make myself happy instead of walking around with a burden on my chest . Nothing is better than my self-worth . 

Living

Life is but an incomplete narrative verging on cessation , thus beautiful in its own spontaneous and captivating rapture ✍🏽 source : Francois Roumel

This young writer basically put life in his own way in this small paragraph and it turned my head in awe …  Not many people will learn how to articulate the artifacts of how precious life is ,and know how to produce what it has to offer in that ounce of TIME .

TIME my friends waits on no man . I , a woman of love , life and growth , always will and forever appreciate what it is and understand very much how to use it . What advice I would give is , live life to the fullest of your ability . Don’t waste your time on senseless wars and let the media dictate on how you should be living . At the end of the day  you were the only one  born from whom that conceives life . You were given that choice to live , to breathe air on your own . Why not challenge it ?  (the world) . Why be afraid to step out without fear of what others might think ? Be adventurous . When  you die , you will be the one dying alone. What then ? What will you say at your last dying breath ? I could have and I should have . No , say you did and I went , I LIVED . 

The Summer

 

I felt the hiss of the morning breeze upon me as its kissed the lips of my body , the break of dawn gathered as the sun made its first light of the day , I could smell the sweet seeds of life as the flowers bloom to the wakening sun upon it , my hazel eyes opened and I felt alive and welL.

I soon then remembered I wasn’t at home anymore , because these weren’t my covers , nor my pillows . I smiled and snuggled deeper in the soft pillows that made me feel like I was on cloud nine .

My tummy started to rumble calling out to me saying  “( food).” I got up annoyed , my poofy black hair fell on my face . Meeting the back of  my golden tan skin ,  I must have looked like a shaggy dog who wanted a hair cut . I didn’t care . I jumped  out of  bed made my way to the bathroom glanced at the mirror , brush my teeth and slid into a bathing suit .

I sat around  a bar table , angled my vision perfectly to the sea as the waves crashed on the rocks , the sun strucked heat,  and the warmth of it invited me to have a swim . Reacting to the weather I started to fan myself  , only to have all that generated energy reciprocated in sweat, it ran down my forehead pass my neckline into my black bikini top beneath my breast finally settled on my tummy . I yelled for the bartender in the back , I asked her to give me a cold glass of water to moist my throat .

I ordered a fish sandwich which i  devoured in seconds  , grabbed my towel from the chair handle behind me, dashed across the street to the beach . When I got there I stopped at a log , stood up on it and inhaled deeply , tightly closed my eyes and reached my hands in the air as if I was touching the sky . I held my head up, my hair fell back off my face as the sun-rayed its light on me, I exhaled  . I then got down to spread my towel , I sat and buried my feet in the sand .

The sea whispered my name , I got up  to the calling and walked straight in.  My body tingled with the shocks of cold water hitting on the dryer parts of it and it gave me goosebumps  . I took a big dip , drenching myself  with the salty waters below to calm my shivers  and stood back up , laughed and shouted to the open sea, “I’m here Barbados !”

Reciprocation

In my recent travels to Greece, I noticed that there was a lot more than just the city of white . It was mostly the city of love and understanding. I sat in a crowded restaurant and I observed the difference between Jamaicans and Greeks romance.

Sitting facing the bar , in came this tall very muscular man with thick black hair  smiling with his white chalk teeth perfectly accord,  gazing behind him at his gorgeous woman , she waltz in dancing to the music in the restaurant with a jubilant vibration , they held hands and walked straight to the bar . She looked up at him with her piercing blue eyes and it twinkled as she hoists her body up to the tip of her toes to match his height, her long blonde hair flowed behind her touching her buttocks, he held her chin bringing it up to meet his lips and slicked her hair back, She smiled gracing him with a deep passionate kiss. Replicating her emotion I smiled in amusement and blushed . He lifted her up and spun around , both laughing and giggling in unison . I could see they were not afraid to show their love for each other in this metropolitan urban area , and no one there  seemed to care or even bother looking , it was a norm . No judgement of people’s perception of what should be or shouldn’t be but  just pure bliss.

It’s not often you find that kind of love demonstrated or reciprocated , Jamaicans tend to hide their compassion for  the ones they hold dear to them.  Never advertise it in public  I think they believe it reveals a  form of weakness , insecurities of themselves. It was written a long time ago in our culture  they never seemed to maturate from it.

I prefer if I’m with someone I care about it’d be shown out whether in public or in the bedroom. I like to feel owned . Appreciated in any form possible. I am a woman of light , and being florescent I must be seen. For what I am , for what my soul is , the inner me . If you can’t show compassion , you don’t deserve me .

 

 

 

 

 

A belonging

I read this from a book called Lisa Kleypas this one part stood out to me , made perfect sense   “most lives are not distinguished by great  achievements. They are measured by an infinite number of small ones, each time you show or do a kindness for someone or bring a smile  to that person’s face , it gives your life meaning .”

Nature at its Best

Hailing from the famously known Blue mountain in Kingston Jamaica . A small part of it called “Irish Town” I sat and wondered how good it must feel , to have absolutely no worries , no fear of what is yet to come and to determine how am I going to challenge this new quest for survival . Neglect and sadness abscond through my mind and paved the way giving percipience to a bliss of utopia . I closed my eyes as the cool mountain breeze passed by my face calmly , rest my chin on my elbow laid on my long golden legs , crossed in comfort . Inhaled the blue scented flowers that were bestowed beside me and captured the ambiance for what it was , Nature.

Not a person in sight for miles , just the white lonely road rendered with the hill behind me and the breathtaking view that I was privileged to glance upon once more .

We Jamaicans produce so much more than what is midst the eye . Our keen sense of vision for nature let us see what the creator has blessed us with , we then used it to our advantage and built our foundation. To show the world to live life and to not be a static to the living . It will always be embedded in our genes . As we are a nation of love , unity and strength .

 

Musical Interactions

I’ve fallen for the powerful aphrodisiac of music and I am not turning back. Music is a deeper level of connection , I call the sixth sense.  It is the most powerful connection known to man. We as humans tend to not give the valid appreciation as its well deserved   we choose canter from it , instead of embracing what has been given to us as a act of nature . Why do we hum?  Why do we sing? Is it emotions? or is it our inner self crying out to ones soul so they can accumulate what we are feeling without saying a word or giving vindication .

The  chords we chose to produce that sound , delegating nerve messages to the brain that interacts with our emotions giving us that sense of warmth , sending chills on our skins we like to call {goosebumps}.  Demolishing our steal walls of defenses  making it malleable hence reaching our softest and most delicate spots in our hearts .Finally  reacting to each song  differently , {based off experience } jumping on a chair and  singing  out our favorite part of a guitar solo , while pretending to dangle the strings of the instrument with our fingers (air guitar) , or ruptured in a corner crying and as that part in that song says ‘fight it’ then we feel like we have found some aspiration again , to stand  strong against rough times and celebrate life as it is  with friends and families . Which ever way we choose, we  feel it inside and out. Music is the fluorescent of the world .

lessions to be learnt

You can’t squander  what you never had , you can’t accumulate what’s not yours and you can’t hold on to someone who doesn’t want to stay , but always make it a habit of showing common courtesy . Always express appreciation and sincerity without expecting it to be reciprocated. Always acknowledge the people around you that show you good and treat you with respect . Be obliged to what life has given you and you’ll find that it’ll show you its’wondrous treasures it has hoarded for you .